Driving down the interstate today I saw something that I just had to write about. I’ve seen it many times this summer but I kept forgetting to write about it, until today. I was going about 80 when I saw something that made me slow down and laugh at these idiots. It was a silver convertible Mercedes. The people in it had the top down, so far so good. The thing that made these people look like idiots was the fact they had their windows up. Let’s examine this with some common sense.
First of all, if you ride around in a convertible with the top down, it’s normally because you want to take in the sun and the wind. So from where I stand, having the windows up won’t keep the sun off you or the wind out of your hair.
Next, let’s say it’s about 85 degrees outside and you wanted to ride around in your convertible with the top down. Seeing that it’s warm you turn on the AC and roll up the windows. Just to let you know, IT’S NOT GONNA HELP ANYTHING!! You still have this big ass hole above your head. I’m not a smart man but I don’t think you’ll be able to feel any of the AC much less trap the cool air inside the car with the top down and windows up!
Ok now getting back to the wind in the hair thing. Let’s say you’re a woman and you just left the beauty salon with a stunning new hair-do. Yeah I can see why you would want to keep the windows up but why the top down!? Do you actually think that that big ass hole over your head will keep the wind from touching your new do?
To sum all this up, people who ride around with the top down and windows up are obviously missing something upstairs. Having the top down defeats the purpose of having the windows up! DUH! Unless someone can tell me a damn good reason of why people insists on doing that stupid shit, they are my close encounter with stupidity for today!
*NOTE: I don’t think those old people liked it when I pulled up beside them and laughed as hard as I could. They looked at me and flipped me off with their old wrinkly fingers!? It was like they were saying “Fuck you All Mighty Observer of Stupidity.” If they only knew what was being said about them now. HAHAHAHA!!!!! *Evil grin*
Friday, September 30, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Fire vs Water?
A few days ago, I was playing Halo 2 on Xbox Live with 2 friends of mine. We were on a pretty good winning streak in Team Snipers. (For everyone who doesn’t know, Team Snipers is a game type in which everyone has sniper rifles. The object of the game is to be the first team to get 50 kills.) We entered this one game where we were the Blue team and of course the other team was the Red team. The game went pretty good for us and we beat them pretty badly. The final score was 50-39. (Click here to see the stats for the game) Well, in the Post Game Lobby, everyone started trash talking. It was like divine intervention when everyone in the lobby got quiet to hear the next comment from Lord Cracker (that’s the guys Gamer Tag for Xbox Live). The following is his exact statement:
“You’re blue and we’re red. You’re water and we’re fire, so who would win in a real fight between fire and water!?”
There was like 3 seconds of silence before everyone said “WATER YOU IDIOT!!!” They guy’s teammates told him that the more he talked the stupider he made himself look. So if anyone who reads this has an Xbox Live account, send a friend request to him and say these exact words to him “On September 26, 2005 you were featured Oxmancometh’s blog because you were his close encounter of the stupid kind, BIATCH!!”
“You’re blue and we’re red. You’re water and we’re fire, so who would win in a real fight between fire and water!?”
There was like 3 seconds of silence before everyone said “WATER YOU IDIOT!!!” They guy’s teammates told him that the more he talked the stupider he made himself look. So if anyone who reads this has an Xbox Live account, send a friend request to him and say these exact words to him “On September 26, 2005 you were featured Oxmancometh’s blog because you were his close encounter of the stupid kind, BIATCH!!”
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Not Knowing is the worse kind of Stupidity
For this one, I don't even have to go into many details. I got into a conversation with a person on yahoo messenger who's status was something like "All men are born with the same "stupid" gene." So naturally I had to talk to her. I changed her name to Her so she can have peace with her moment.....
Her: i knew ud say somethin
Cliff: ur're sterotyping
Her: how
Cliff: u said ALL men
Her: my aunt said the same thang bout her husband
Cliff: ur judging all men
Her: that he acts stupid
Cliff: and?
Her: its true
Cliff: just because he's stupid don't mean everyone else is stupid
Her: i bet i could get 9 out of 10 women to say that bout their men
Her: or admit that bout their man
Her: THEY HAVE THEIR STUPID MOMENTS
Cliff: well if it's their man.........and he's stupid....but yet they stay with them........they're just as stupid if not more
Her: we all have our moments, but men seem to have more stupid moments than us women
Cliff: if u sleep better at night thinkin that.....i won't argue with u
Her: good
Cliff: i'd hate to crush everything u believe in
Notice how when I said that the woman was just as stupid if not more than the guy if she stays with him she never acknowledged it. Wonder why? Things that make you say "hmmm?" I think I made a valid point. If she only knew how much it sounded like she had this "stupid gene" she was talking about I think she would have just been quiet. So "Her" you are yet another close encounter with stupidity I've had today! CONGRATS!!!!!
Her: i knew ud say somethin
Cliff: ur're sterotyping
Her: how
Cliff: u said ALL men
Her: my aunt said the same thang bout her husband
Cliff: ur judging all men
Her: that he acts stupid
Cliff: and?
Her: its true
Cliff: just because he's stupid don't mean everyone else is stupid
Her: i bet i could get 9 out of 10 women to say that bout their men
Her: or admit that bout their man
Her: THEY HAVE THEIR STUPID MOMENTS
Cliff: well if it's their man.........and he's stupid....but yet they stay with them........they're just as stupid if not more
Her: we all have our moments, but men seem to have more stupid moments than us women
Cliff: if u sleep better at night thinkin that.....i won't argue with u
Her: good
Cliff: i'd hate to crush everything u believe in
Notice how when I said that the woman was just as stupid if not more than the guy if she stays with him she never acknowledged it. Wonder why? Things that make you say "hmmm?" I think I made a valid point. If she only knew how much it sounded like she had this "stupid gene" she was talking about I think she would have just been quiet. So "Her" you are yet another close encounter with stupidity I've had today! CONGRATS!!!!!
A Breeding Pool of Stupidity
What is really going on at Domino's? It's bad enough when I told a manager "I quit" he didn't know what I was talking about. But what happened today topped that!
Today I had the urge to eat some Hot Wings. Me being the lazy person I am, I called Domino's for delivery. The person who answered the phone (a new manager there) takes my order. He got that right which was a real accomplishment I would later learn. I told him that I was paying for my order with my Visa Checkcard. I tell him the number and the expiration date. He then asks for the card holder's name. I say "Clifton C. Oxendine." So then he asks me "Is that spelled C-L-I-F-F-O-R-D?" I paused for a seconds to make sure I heard him right. And I tell him "Uh, no that's Clifford, my name is Clifton." Then he asks me how to spell it! TRYING not to be a smartass I tell him "Drop the FORD and put a TON in its place." His response was "So there's no F in it?" Not wanting to deal with his complete stupidity I spelled it out to him like he was in first grade. I was amazed he even got it then! It's funny, can't spell Clifton but he can spell Oxendine!
I'm glad I quit when I did because God only knows if the stupidity would have rubbed off! If I was that stupid I'd probly hire someone to shoot me to take me out of my misery! So Mr. New Manager at Domino's you're my close encounter with stupidity but don't feel bad cause in about 5 min. I'm gonna post another one so you're not alone!
Today I had the urge to eat some Hot Wings. Me being the lazy person I am, I called Domino's for delivery. The person who answered the phone (a new manager there) takes my order. He got that right which was a real accomplishment I would later learn. I told him that I was paying for my order with my Visa Checkcard. I tell him the number and the expiration date. He then asks for the card holder's name. I say "Clifton C. Oxendine." So then he asks me "Is that spelled C-L-I-F-F-O-R-D?" I paused for a seconds to make sure I heard him right. And I tell him "Uh, no that's Clifford, my name is Clifton." Then he asks me how to spell it! TRYING not to be a smartass I tell him "Drop the FORD and put a TON in its place." His response was "So there's no F in it?" Not wanting to deal with his complete stupidity I spelled it out to him like he was in first grade. I was amazed he even got it then! It's funny, can't spell Clifton but he can spell Oxendine!
I'm glad I quit when I did because God only knows if the stupidity would have rubbed off! If I was that stupid I'd probly hire someone to shoot me to take me out of my misery! So Mr. New Manager at Domino's you're my close encounter with stupidity but don't feel bad cause in about 5 min. I'm gonna post another one so you're not alone!
Friday, September 02, 2005
Thank You Baby Bush!
What a day today has been. Was it not bad enough gas was above $2 a gallon? Today it topped out at $3.79 in some places! Why? All because Baby Bush thought it would be a great idea to: (1) go to Iraq to fight a personal battle which in turn caused the oil industry to become unstable: (2) take more oil out of our market to fill up the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and (3) in a time when we NEED to use that reserve, he only releases a measley 6 million barrels.
I'll never forget that day. The day when I knew we were going to war. I was sitting in the Dining Facility at Ft. Campbell, KY and CNN was on the TV. Baby Bush was talking about taking action against Iraq because of their "weapons of mass destruction" when he said, "How can I not want to kill a man who tried to kill my father?" At that moment, I knew we were going to war for all the wrong reasons. Once the war started, there was a steady increase in gas prices all because the war caused an unstable industry. So around this time we were paying $1.75 because Baby Bush wanted to impress Daddy Bush. THANKS!!!
I'm not sure exactly when our "great" leader had this next "great" idea. He decided that we were not filling up the Oil Reserves fast enough so what does he do? He takes oil out of an already tight market to store in the reserve. Oh I'm SO sorry that 570 million barrels was too low for ya and the 1 million barrels we put in there a day wasn't filling it fast enough for ya Baby Bush. Thanks to you, we were then paying over $2 a gallon. THANKS!!!!
Well now a hurricane has hit the Gulf, taking out refineries we had down there. So now we're loosing alot of oil a day and what does Baby Bush do? HE OPENS UP THE RESERVES!!! But here's the catch, out of the now 700 million barrels we have just sitting there doing nothing, he releases 6 million barrels. What the fuck? What is that suppose to do? Well, I can tell you what it's NOT doing and that's helping the gas prices. NOW we're paying $3.79 a gallon. THANKS!!!!
So Baby Bush, thank you 3 times over because had it not been for these idiotic decisions of yours, I would have nothing to write about to day. Your great leadership is greatly appreciated by myself and comics across America. Without you, I would not have a close encounter of the stupid kind to tell the people who are going broke paying for gas while you're getting rich off your oil company! THANKS FUCKER!!
I'll never forget that day. The day when I knew we were going to war. I was sitting in the Dining Facility at Ft. Campbell, KY and CNN was on the TV. Baby Bush was talking about taking action against Iraq because of their "weapons of mass destruction" when he said, "How can I not want to kill a man who tried to kill my father?" At that moment, I knew we were going to war for all the wrong reasons. Once the war started, there was a steady increase in gas prices all because the war caused an unstable industry. So around this time we were paying $1.75 because Baby Bush wanted to impress Daddy Bush. THANKS!!!
I'm not sure exactly when our "great" leader had this next "great" idea. He decided that we were not filling up the Oil Reserves fast enough so what does he do? He takes oil out of an already tight market to store in the reserve. Oh I'm SO sorry that 570 million barrels was too low for ya and the 1 million barrels we put in there a day wasn't filling it fast enough for ya Baby Bush. Thanks to you, we were then paying over $2 a gallon. THANKS!!!!
Well now a hurricane has hit the Gulf, taking out refineries we had down there. So now we're loosing alot of oil a day and what does Baby Bush do? HE OPENS UP THE RESERVES!!! But here's the catch, out of the now 700 million barrels we have just sitting there doing nothing, he releases 6 million barrels. What the fuck? What is that suppose to do? Well, I can tell you what it's NOT doing and that's helping the gas prices. NOW we're paying $3.79 a gallon. THANKS!!!!
So Baby Bush, thank you 3 times over because had it not been for these idiotic decisions of yours, I would have nothing to write about to day. Your great leadership is greatly appreciated by myself and comics across America. Without you, I would not have a close encounter of the stupid kind to tell the people who are going broke paying for gas while you're getting rich off your oil company! THANKS FUCKER!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)