I'm Back!!!!!

First of all, I would like to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by the horrific events at Virginia Tech University. With tragedy, unity comes to light. That being said, I’m asking everyone to give to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund. The money from this fund will go towards various things for both the families of the victims and the students of the school. More information is provided through the link above.

It would be so easy for me to make the shooter the subject of my blog right now but I’m not. All this attention is what the dummy wanted when he did what he did. So, for that reason, I’m not gonna mention his name or anything dealing with his actions before, during or after the tragedy happened. This would not be fair to all those people that died for no reason other than for the dummy’s own need to be seen and heard. After this paragraph, I will say nothing more of him.

On to happier things…

I’m not even gonna say that I’ll post more! I’ve said it too many times and due to things going on with me and my life, I haven’t been able to keep my promise. I will say this; I will TRY to post more often. A couple people have been telling me “Ox, you need to hurry up and post…..” Uh, yes I know that! I kinda figured it when you told me the first 100 times! Just calm down, good things come to those who wait!

Now I’m not saying this post is a good thing! But if it is good to you then I guess your wait is over. If not, then just keep waiting!

Just the other morning on my way to work, this car pulled out in front of me. Under normal circumstances everything would have been ok, but since I’m posting to this blog about it, obviously the circumstances were far from normal. Anyways, the car pulls out in front of me while I was going about 60 mph. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was about 20 yards away when they pulled out. So what did I have to do? If you guessed “slam on brakes,” YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

I slam on breaks to keep from slamming into the rear end of their busted up piece of crap car! Now, normally when you have to hit the brakes like that, you’re gonna get a little close. That happened in this situation.

So there I was, heart pounding because I saw my short life flash before my eyes while my car was skidding on the road (yeah, some anti-lock brakes!). After the screeching stopped and I caught my breath, I looked behind me to see if a car behind me was about to plow into me. You’ll never guess what I saw! Absolutely nothing!

Ok, let’s see what we have so far. I’m driving, minding my own business while listening to Akon talk about how he’s a convict on his new album (I guess that’s how you’re supposed to sell records if you’re a rapper). This dummy pulls out in front of me when I’m like 20 yards away. I have to slam on brakes to keep from rear ending the dummy and now I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack because there’s no one behind me. If this idiot would have waited a whole 5 seconds longer, none of this would have happened.

Well, obviously I’m pissed! Who wouldn’t be? What does the idiot do now? Drive 45 in a 55 zone! Great! I felt like a McDonald’s commercial “I’m lovin’ it!”

Like I said before, since I had to slam on brakes to keep from hitting this person, I’m naturally close to their rear end. This idiot looks up in the rearview mirror and begins pointing at it while talking.

Let’s think about this a bit.

This person must have some kind of disorder. Who talks to their rearview mirror? I know that they couldn’t have possibly been talking to me! How do I know this? Well, for one, I’m not the reason I’m that close to the car and two, common sense tells you that if you’re trying to talk to someone in another vehicle you call them up on their cell phone. The last time I checked, rearview mirrors didn’t have any kind of telecommunication features. No way for it to communicate with other rearview mirrors in order to relay messages from driver to driver. So, my logical conclusion was that this person was talking to the rearview mirror. From the looks of it, the conversation was one sided with the driver being the one side and it was very heated! Maybe the driver was accusing the mirror of allowing me to get so close to that piece of crap car!? Hell, I don’t know.

Eventually, I was able to pass the car. As I did, I used a bit of sign language to tell the driver that she was #1! Well, when I looked in my rearview mirror she was yelling and pointing at her windshield! I don’t know what the windshield said or did but boy was she PISSED!

As the car slowly disappeared from my rearview mirror I began to laugh. Yes, laugh! Why? Well that’s simple. She pissed me off when she pulled out in front of me. She could have been laughing then. BUT, when her own rearview mirror and windshield pissed her off it was great!! Oh yeah, the part when I told her about how I thought she was #1 probably didn’t rub her the right way either! Just goes to show that the old saying is correct. He who laughs last, laughs first!

So lady, this is my final laugh and the first in my offensive towards stupidity. You’re my close encounter of the stupid kind!

PS – If the lady’s rearview mirror and windshield are reading this (hell, I guess you can read since obviously you can do something to piss her off), you don’t have to take the abuse! I’m sure that you can find some numbers to some people that specialize in that kind of abuse. Just Google it!