Whoops! Did I Say That!?

First of all I would like to take this opportunity to address Anonymous one more time. You're a sorry piece of shit that got called out and now you're not man/woman enough to defend yourself. You're probably some Emo Kid that sits behind the computer all day listening to Manson while plotting your own death. Try this plan, it's real simple. Get the fuck up out of your chair, go to the stereo, take the Manson CD out, break it, and then slice your wrists with the broken pieces! Thank you and good night! On to the new post...

I think I’ve prolonged this posting long enough. Everyone who knows me personally already knows this story. And everyone who knows me has told me I needed to put this on my blog. Why not? If I can’t laugh at myself, then I shouldn’t be able to laugh or point out everyone else’s stupidity.

In May of this year, my uncle got married in Delaware. I was a groomsman in the ceremony. Of course, during our visit to Delaware for the wedding we meet a lot of his future bride’s family. I am not good with names or sorting out who’s who when I’m meeting a crowd of people. Usually I just go for the titles at first (brother, sister, mother, father), then eventually I’ll learn names.

The night before the wedding of course, is the rehearsal dinner. It was then my uncle wanted to show everyone who wanted to see, the new lighting kit he put on his bike. He turned on the lights and of course an array of complements followed. After the hype died down about the lights, Erin’s brother (Erin is my uncle’s wife) asked Jerry (my uncle) if he would take him on a ride. Apparently, he had never ridden on a street bike before. Of course, my uncle agreed to take him around the block.

I do not know the exact name of the bike but it’s not a Harley Davidson bike. It’s what you call a rice burner or crotch rocket. And if you know anything about those bikes, if you’re the passenger on one, you don’t just sit straight up and hold onto the seat. That’s a sure way to get thrown off!

Well, Erin’s brother gets on the back and sits straight up and says he’s ready to go. Seeing this I felt like I should warn him that he would have to hang on to Jerry so he wouldn’t fall off and get hurt. So I said, “Hey man, you might want to put your arms around Jerry and hang on. You’ll fall off if you don’t. But don’t worry; we won’t call you gay or anything like that behind your back.”

Everyone got quiet and Erin’s brother looked back at me. Nothing was said as he and Jerry rode off into the night. Standing beside me was Erin’s brother-in-law. He looked at me and said, “Dude, you know he’s gay right!?”

I did not know that he was gay. I had been there 2 days and no one said anything to me about him being gay. I knew he acted different but hell, I didn’t know how people in Delaware acted. AND, he showed up there with a girl! SO, I just assumed he was with her. WHOOPS!!

Needless to say, I got the hell out of dodge before he got back. While they were pulling into the drive way, I was pulling out! I felt so stupid and embarrassed right then. EVERYONE knew except me! It was like I was set up for failure! If it upset him, he didn’t show it the next day at the ceremony and reception. So I guess it worked out ok. But yes, I am my own close encounter of the stupid kind! And boy did I ever feel stupid!