Monday, March 26, 2012

Guns

Did you hear about the Bushmaster XM-15 semiautomatic .223 caliber rifle that went on a killing spree along the interstate? How about the Walther P22 and Glock 19 that walked into a school and killed 32 students, faculty and staff? No? Perhaps you heard of the M-4 rifle and M9 pistol that got together one night and killed 17 people? This one you must have heard; a 9MM pistol was a self-appointed night watchman and killed someone who looked “suspicious”.

The recent controversy in Florida about Trayvon Martin has spurred all kinds of opinions about what happened. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion on things but at the same time, those opinions should have at least a breath of common sense. I’ve said that to say this; GEORGE ZIMMERMAN KILLED TRAYVON MARTIN. The idiot(s) who waste breath and brain cells in thinking or saying that a GUN killed Trayvon is the reason why there is such a misconception about guns and the people who own them.

Owning a firearm is a right protected by the Constitution of the United States. This right is exercised by millions of Americans including this one. As far as I know, my shotgun has yet to kill anyone. Now it could be living some kind of double life and be the most prolific serial killer ever, but I doubt it. Then again I’ve been wrong before, just ask my ex.

There is this little mechanism all guns have than sets into motion a series of actions to cause that gun to fire, it’s called a trigger. I have yet to see a gun that did not need any kind of human action to fire. Thus, a gun did not kill Trayvon Martin. A crazy, ignorant, wannabe cop, arrogant racists PERSON killed Trayvon Martin.

It’s bad enough I had to hear that ignorant comment but then I turn on the news and there’s a clip of someone who was part of a discussion about the Trayvon Martin case that made the 2nd stupidest statement I heard about all this. I’m gonna quote as close as possible:

“It’s funny because the same people, politicians and governors who push for laws that allow people to use guns to protect themselves are also pushing to get prayer back in schools. So its ok to preach about turning the other cheek but don’t mess with me because I will shoot you? It’s hypocrisy!”

If this idiot had half a brain, at least part of it would have caught some of this nonsense before it had a chance to leave his mouth. Apparently, because I believe in God and I want my child to pray at school if he wants to, I should just let someone break into my home and kill me and my son. Nah! Not gonna happen without a fight. Yes Jesus turned the other cheek. He was the son of God and could have stopped everything that happened to him by just blinking his weak eye! The purpose for him walking this planet in human form was to die for our sins! You cannot compare any situation in which we face life or death situations with how Jesus handled everything leading up to and including his crucifixion.

If you use situations as this to try to gain support to further restrict access to firearms, you are a pitiful person to say the very least. If you make it harder for law abiding citizens to purchase guns, then you’re opening the flood gates for the criminals. Outlaw guns then only outlaws will have guns. A truer statement has never been spoken. I think here in North Carolina, we have enough laws governing the purchase of guns and the use of force (although I think some should be tweaked). The fact that Zimmerman had a gun is something that should be looked at. The guy has a record of a violent past but was able to obtain a permit. I’m not sure how the permit process works in Florida, but here, there is a background check and the sheriff issues the permit. For a conceal carry permit, there is a class in which the laws of using deadly force are taught then a check is conducted by the SBI. If everything is clean then the permit is granted.

So no, the Bushmaster XM-15 semiautomatic .223 caliber rifle was not the DC sniper! It was a tool used by John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo. The Walther P22 and Glock 19 didn’t just get up one morning and decide to kill 32 people at Virginia Tech! That decision was made by Seung-Hui Cho (I will say his best decision was to shoot himself). As for the M-4 and M9, they didn’t get drunk and kill 17 Afghani citizens! Robert Bales was the person pulling those triggers! Guns don’t kill people, people kill people!

For all you people who want to do away with guns and use tragic situations to use the fear to get your “point” across, I will not protect you with my firearms in the event of a zombie apocalypse! I’ll just tell you to turn the other brain! (I had to!) Making these stupid comments or even thinking these thoughts have made you my close encounter of the STUUUUUUPID kind!!! I shall leave you this evening with a quote:

"You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.” - Isoroku Yamamoto, Commander-in-Chief of the Imperial Japanese Navy during World War II.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Occupy This Post!

I am all about standing up for what my beliefs and rights. I would expect everyone reading this to feel the same. What I don’t understand is this “occupy” movement. I don’t understand how so many people can get behind this thing and yet, no one has a clue about what is going on!

A brief background about this crap: it all started in Spain. Yeah, I said it, Spain. Apparently, the people of Spain got caught up in this “Arab Spring” and began their own protests against their government. Since there are like 5 Arabs living in Spain, they couldn’t be considered part of the “Arab Spring” so their protests became known as the Spanish Indignant movement. A few weeks later, a group in Canada called Adbusters Media Foundation decided that it would be cool to come up with something that would equal the attention in the eastern part of the world. So they came up with the idea to organize a protest on Wall Street. TIMEOUT! A group of CANADIANS who got their idea from the SPANISH, who got their idea from the ARABS decided to protest something in AMERICA! Yeah, that’s how messed up this whole thing is. Anyway, the Canadians decided to protest corporate influence on democracy. Thus, “Occupy Wall Street” began. As you all can see on TV, it has grown to other things since then.

I won’t even address the obvious problems of people from other countries taking it upon themselves to use our freedoms in our country to try to change our system of democracy. I’ll leave that one alone. The part of all this that irks me more than anything is when an “occupier” is interviewed, one of the first things they say is “we can’t find jobs, we can’t buy homes, we just can’t get ahead under our current system”. Let’s keep in mind that a majority of these protestors are college aged people (18-24). I would imagine all they say is true. How would anyone be able to find a job when they’re too busy “occupying” everything but a job application line? How can you buy a home when you can’t “occupy” anything other than your parents’ bank accounts? Maybe I’m the stupid one here when I say, GO LOOK FOR WORK AND DON’T EXPECT EVERYTHING TO BE HANDED TO YOU!! What’s that? That won’t change anything? Ok, well if you really want to change the way our system works I will tell you how.

There is a misconception that change happens at the top. VERY rarely does change come from the top. Change begins at the bottom. Think about it. Let’s say you’re a citizen of a colony founded by, oh let’s say Britain. Also, let’s just assume you were being taxed by Britain but yet not getting any say to where and what the money goes to (not that this has ever happened or anything). Do you really think that the king of Britain or even the leaders of the colonies would be like “You know we should let them have some say about this”? Heck no! Why? They’re still gonna get their money either way. The king of course got richer and the leaders of the colonies were paid to collect the taxes. Everyone in that chain were beneficiaries of the system. It took the people on the bottom to say, “If I’m paying, I should have say in where it goes”. They went to the top. They wrote letters, they complained to their leaders and nothing worked. So they stopped paying taxes. Wouldn’t you know it; we’re a free country today because of it.

I said all that to say this; if you want to change our system, “occupy” elected offices. If you really think you have all the people behind you that you say you do, run for state or federal offices. Start bringing about the change you want that way. “Occupy” Congress with bills that support your cause.

The only things you’re “occupying” now are parks and welfare lines. Which kinda defeats your cause right!? But it supports my cause to point out yet another close encounter with stupidity!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

8 Year Old Pepper Sprayed

Colorado police pepper-spray angry 8-year-old boy after violent tantrum at elementary school


Cops defend use of pepper spray on 8-year-old during tantrum; boy threatened to stab teachers

Justified? Police use pepper spray to subdue 8-year-old



So you may have heard the story of Aidan Elliott, the 8-year-old kid in Colorado who police pepper sprayed after he flipped out in class. Thanks to all the publicity from this incident, the stupidity and lack of responsibility becomes ever more present here in America. Prior to America catering to the “feelings” of children, this story wouldn’t have even been a blip on the media radar. Now that it has, let’s look at this a little deeper.

Here are the facts: Aidan went to school that day; Aidan got mad; Aidan started cursing and threatening teachers; Aidan pulled a piece of molding off the wall and in essence had the intent of using it as a weapon; the teachers and the rest of the students barricaded themselves in an office; police was called; Aidan flips out at them and curses them also; Aidan gets pepper sprayed; no one gets hurt.

Those are facts that have not been disputed by either side. The kid himself even said this on numerous morning news shows. So what’s the problem? His mother says that they should have handled it differently. His mother says that police need special training to handle kids with behavioral issues. His mother says that there’s something wrong at the school because he never acts like this at home.

Ms. Elliott, allow me to dissect your thoughts on this matter:

1. It should have been handled differently – How could this situation been handled differently? You have someone in front of you who is obviously a danger to others saying that if the teachers come out of the closet he’s going to kill them (terroristic threats) with the stick (assault with a deadly weapon and since it’s on a school campus, automatic felony). Not to mention when police arrives he taunts them and begins threatening them (could be assault on an officer but in this case we’ll go back to terroristic threats). Let’s be honest, had this kid been a grown black man, he would have been shot or at the very least tasered. You should be thankful that all they did was use pepper spray. People have been shot and/or kill by police for a lot less. That’s not to take anything away from police; they’re here to protect us from people who are flipping out because they didn’t get their way.

2. Police need special training to handle kids with behavioral problems – I completely disagree. They have received all the training they need to deal with people. Just because you baby and pacify your kid at home, doesn’t mean the rest of the world should do it. This is the real world. When you do something wrong, there are consequences for your actions. Police are equipped with 3 levels of force to handle situations: gun, taser, and pepper spray. Those 3 items can de-escalate all situations involving 1-5 people per officer. It is not the job of the police to give him candy or a video game to calm him down; it is their job to help the people who were barricaded in the closet.

3. There’s something wrong at the school because he never acts like this at home – Yeah, no one in America believes that one. He may not do this kind of stuff now but I’m 99% sure he has in the past. When he didn’t get his way he would flip out. So you, being the piss poor parent you are, started giving him everything he wanted. THAT’S why he doesn’t act like this at home NOW. The kid said himself on “Good Morning America” that they wouldn’t let him do something and he got mad. The issuance of rules and borders begin at home and at your home there aren’t any so he thinks he has none everywhere. If someone does try to limit him, he flips out thinking that’s going to solve the problem. On the video of the story from GMA, the kid is playing a violent video game that kids his age shouldn’t even play. He even made the statement that he just got the game. So not only did you give him a game intended for mature audiences, but you gave it to him after this whole incident! Rewarding bad behavior only fuels more bad behavior! The funny thing about this one is in the police report of all this you are quoted as saying “Well, you probably deserved it” when he told you they sprayed him.

Now let’s take a look at how this would have been handled when I was 8 years old (it would have never happened because I knew better but let’s play along). I flip out at school and cause teachers to leave or hide in the closet. Police get there and pepper spray me, and then handcuff me. My mom shows up and asks what happened. By this time I’d be praying that the cops would just take me away to jail because I know what my mom would have for me would be far worse. Once mom would get the story, she would kindly ask the police to step away from me for a few minutes. Once the cop would have left, I would have gotten my ass beat!! No morning news shows, no national publicity, no nothing; just a good old fashion beating, which would have been well deserved! That would have been the first and the last time I would have flipped out like that. This was his THIRD time!!!

So allow me to conclude this by saying that this attempt to build some kind of following for a frivolous lawsuit against the police department, school system, or both, has more than backfired on you. You and your kid said he deserved it. My advice is that you first of all thank God I wasn’t the first cop on the scene because by the time you would have gotten there, he would be flopping like a fish out of water from the taser shocks (ignore the bruises that look like a nightstick, he fell….honest!). Second, the cure for an unruly child is being a parent! Spare the rod, spoil the child. Third, you win the “Piss Poor Parent of the Year” award along with being my close encounter of the stupid kind!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Introduction and a couple of things....

Close Encounters of the Stupid Kind....the title speaks for itself.

Let me start out by saying that I'm honored to be able to add to this blog. I have not ever written or maintained a blog before. This will be a learning experience for me. I ask that you work with me as I get into the swing of things! =)

A little about me; My name is Thomas Paine. I believe in common sense and logical thinking. I believe that all men and women are created equal. I'm 27 years old. I have a Bachelor's degree. That's the generals about me. If you'd like to know more, just comment or email me thomaspaine81@gmail.com and now time for a short first post...

Let me begin by saying that I'm not impressed by people who do everything they can to TRY to look cool. All you're doing is making yourself look....well.....look stupid. So, I've devised a list to shed some light on exactly what I'm talking about.

You ain't cool if:
-you wear shorts that go to your ankles
-your rims cost more than your car
-your rims cost more than your car and too big for the car
-you're a guy who wears skinny jeans
-you're a guy who wears skinny jeans and tries to sag
-you're a guy who wears skinny jeans, tries to sag, and tuck your shirt in your boxers
-you wear shades inside (Kanye West)
-your shirt goes down to your knees
-you wear a bandanna and a hat at the same time
-you cruise the Wal-Mark parking lot
-you walk at half the speed of smell
-you walk at half the speed of smell while talking loudly on your cell phone
-you walk at half the speed of smell while talking loudly on your cell phone complaining about a teacher who marked you tardy
-you wear tight and revealing clothing even though you weigh over 300 pounds
-you date someone who fits into any of these categories

...and last but not least...

YOU WEAR YOUR PANTS DOWN TO YOUR KNEES AND HAVE A BELT ON BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO PULL THEM UP!!!! For the record, I'm a huge Tupac fan but he did not originate this style. It came from prison. Pants below your ass means you're available....figure it out!

So, I said that to say this, PLEASE STOP BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY MAKING YOURSELF LOOK STUPID!!!! But on the other hand, if you didn't do it, I wouldn't have had my close encounter for my first post!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Letting Go

I never thought this day would come. The day when it would be best that I let go. The day when I let go of my baby....my blog. I've thought about this for a while and I think it's best that I do it now rather than hold on to it longer. I feel like I've been holding it back from it's full potential.

That's not to say that I won't have some kind of input to what happens with "Close Encounters of the Stupid Kind", I'm just stepping back...way back...and allow someone else to take it and make it grow. The person who will be taking over will be good to her, I know this for a fact. Thomas Paine will begin his work soon. I know him well and know that if you liked my postings/stories, you will love his. I will allow him to introduce himself with his first post.

This blog has been a lot of things for me. I've posted/ranted about a lot of things and it has helped me personally. Now, I must step back in order to help myself and the blog. I'm gonna miss everyone who reads this blog and comment on the posts. I love you all! If at anytime you want to email or chat with me, my contact info is the same: email - o_rock@yahoo.com Facebook - Clifton Oxendine, Yahoo messenger: o_rock

I know this isn't a close encounter of the stupid kind, for me, this is a close encounter with myself.

Thank you!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fear not my blog! I have not forgotten you! Soon there will be a post!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Why do some people think that the word "super" in SUPERvisor means they can do whatever they want like they're SUPERman or something?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

WTF!?




Ok now this is something I saw today that I just had to talk about. Shouldn't this be illegal!?





I guess this would be ok if the owner is handicapped. My bad....it just looked weired!

Smooth Criminal!?

The community college I work at hosted a drug and gang awareness forum tonight. Just to familiarize you with what this is, it is just an informative session where local police departments teach/show the public about drugs and gangs in the area. Also, the public has the opportunity to ask questions and find out what they can do to combat these problems in the community.
I was standing at the back of the auditorium with some members of the local police department minding my own business when all of a sudden I hear a detective say “What the fuck is he doing here!?” I was lost! I didn’t know if he was talking about me or someone else. Then he made the motion towards a guy in the audience.

The detective then went outside to talk to a uniform officer. A few minutes later, the detective and the uniform officer come back and escort the guy out and being to search him. They found him to have a huge wad of cash and a baggie of weed. Needless to say, he was cuffed and taken out of the building.

Later, I asked the detective about the situation. I could not believe my ears. Apparently, this guy had like 5 warrants for his arrest for various charges, he’s a known drug dealer, AND a member of a gang! Now, I’m not a smart man but I would think if I was wanted AND a gang member, I would not go to a forum about gangs when it’s a known fact police will be there. Maybe that’s just me. But I was also informed that gangs are known to send a “spy” to these forums to find out what law enforcement knows about local gangs so they can change their tactics and tendencies. I believe that’s a smart thing to do. Spies are in everything from international matters to local business so it would make sense gangs would do something like this. BUT if I was a gang leader and I wanted to put a spy in one of these forums, first of all, he would be dressed like everyone else in the audience. By this I mean no pants down below the knees, no shirt so long it almost touch the ankles, AND no “pimp” walk with corn rolls in the hair! When one person fits this description in a crowd of about 100 well dressed and well groomed people, he kinda sticks out like a sore thumb! Maybe it’s just me!

So, to all you gang members out there, here’s a word of advice, send a spy that can adapt to the environment you are sending him/her to. And if police will be there, don’t send someone with multiple warrants because they kinda keep track of things like that for some reason! Until then, you dumbass gang leaders/members are my close encounter with stupidity!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Look Normal

So there I was, working in the library at the local community college. I looked around and noticed that the building was loaded with potential blog topics. All I needed was for one to draw attention to their stupidity. Just when I thought it wouldn’t happen………BAM!!!!!
It was my time to run the circulation desk. A patron came to the desk.

Me: “Hey! How can I help you?”

Patron: “I need help on the computer. Can you help me?”

Me: “Well, the lab assistant will be back soon. You should wait on him.”

Patron: “I need to go in a few minutes.”

Me: “Ok. I’ll help you out real quick.”

What a mistake this was. I get to the computer and notice a resume was typed in MS Word. The patron simply said, “Help me make this look good.” No big deal. I go through with my mad skillz (yeah that’s with a Z because they’re awesome) and make it look good. Before I worked on it, it was just lines and lines of plain text. It was like she just started typing and did not press enter one time. Once I finished, it was aligned properly with headings and spacing. It was 100000000000000% better looking.

Then she says, “I want it to look normal.”

Me: “Uh, what do you mean by that?”

Patron: “Normal! I want it to look normal!”

Ok so by this point I’m completely lost. I told her that she needed to wait for the lab assistant because I had no clue what she was talking about.

Sometime later, the lab assistant came to me and asked me about the lady. I explained my encounter with her and he laughed. He said she kept telling him the same thing about wanting it to look normal. He said after about 10 minutes of questioning he realized what she was talking about.















She wanted it printed on paper. This looked “normal” to her. I don’t even have to say anything else.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Long Time No See

WOW!!! Almost a year since I've rambled about something here on this blog!!! Believe me, it's not that I haven't wanted to or that I haven't seen something stupid. I've used this excuse before but I've just been busy. So much has happened since the last time. I'm now engaged, a father to be, and a college student. So yeah, I've been busy. I'm not even gonna say that I'll start posting regularly, but I will post whenever I can.

This post is going to be more or less a political rambling. So if you're not intrested, go to another website!

What the hell is up with this Presidential Election!? Talk about thin pickings!!!! I really have no desire to vote for anyone that is in the running, either Democrat or Republican! If you've read any of my other posts, you can gather that I'm a Democrat. Brace yourself, I would rather vote Republican than for either of the 2 canidates racing towards the nomination. Yeah, I said it! To be honest, this election should be called "Picking the lesser of all evils '08." But oh well we'll see what happens there.

Another thing that has struck a nerve with me is this fake concept of the American Dream. We as Americans should be the first in line to receive this "American Dream" that everyone talks about. Look around! Who is really getting the better opportunity at the American Dream?!? If you guessed anyone who's last name is Mohammad, Diaz, or Gandhi, then you're right!!!! These immigrants are the first to receive grants, that's right GRANTS, to start any business they want. Hence the reason why you have to speak Arabic to get $40 in gas at the gas station. Or when you check into a hotel, you have to cipher through a thick Indian (people from India, NOT Native American Indians) accent to figure out where you're room is located. Then you walk outside and see a Vietnam Vet homeless and begging for money to eat with!!! That is straight-up depressing and is a huge injustice to us as Americans! Why can't this "wonderful" government of ours take care of our own before we hand out charity to immigrants!?!?!

The government and lack thereof is my close encounter for today!

Monday, April 23, 2007

I'm Back!!!!!

First of all, I would like to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by the horrific events at Virginia Tech University. With tragedy, unity comes to light. That being said, I’m asking everyone to give to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund. The money from this fund will go towards various things for both the families of the victims and the students of the school. More information is provided through the link above.

It would be so easy for me to make the shooter the subject of my blog right now but I’m not. All this attention is what the dummy wanted when he did what he did. So, for that reason, I’m not gonna mention his name or anything dealing with his actions before, during or after the tragedy happened. This would not be fair to all those people that died for no reason other than for the dummy’s own need to be seen and heard. After this paragraph, I will say nothing more of him.

On to happier things…

I’m not even gonna say that I’ll post more! I’ve said it too many times and due to things going on with me and my life, I haven’t been able to keep my promise. I will say this; I will TRY to post more often. A couple people have been telling me “Ox, you need to hurry up and post…..” Uh, yes I know that! I kinda figured it when you told me the first 100 times! Just calm down, good things come to those who wait!

Now I’m not saying this post is a good thing! But if it is good to you then I guess your wait is over. If not, then just keep waiting!

Just the other morning on my way to work, this car pulled out in front of me. Under normal circumstances everything would have been ok, but since I’m posting to this blog about it, obviously the circumstances were far from normal. Anyways, the car pulls out in front of me while I was going about 60 mph. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was about 20 yards away when they pulled out. So what did I have to do? If you guessed “slam on brakes,” YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

I slam on breaks to keep from slamming into the rear end of their busted up piece of crap car! Now, normally when you have to hit the brakes like that, you’re gonna get a little close. That happened in this situation.

So there I was, heart pounding because I saw my short life flash before my eyes while my car was skidding on the road (yeah, some anti-lock brakes!). After the screeching stopped and I caught my breath, I looked behind me to see if a car behind me was about to plow into me. You’ll never guess what I saw! Absolutely nothing!

Ok, let’s see what we have so far. I’m driving, minding my own business while listening to Akon talk about how he’s a convict on his new album (I guess that’s how you’re supposed to sell records if you’re a rapper). This dummy pulls out in front of me when I’m like 20 yards away. I have to slam on brakes to keep from rear ending the dummy and now I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack because there’s no one behind me. If this idiot would have waited a whole 5 seconds longer, none of this would have happened.

Well, obviously I’m pissed! Who wouldn’t be? What does the idiot do now? Drive 45 in a 55 zone! Great! I felt like a McDonald’s commercial “I’m lovin’ it!”

Like I said before, since I had to slam on brakes to keep from hitting this person, I’m naturally close to their rear end. This idiot looks up in the rearview mirror and begins pointing at it while talking.

Let’s think about this a bit.

This person must have some kind of disorder. Who talks to their rearview mirror? I know that they couldn’t have possibly been talking to me! How do I know this? Well, for one, I’m not the reason I’m that close to the car and two, common sense tells you that if you’re trying to talk to someone in another vehicle you call them up on their cell phone. The last time I checked, rearview mirrors didn’t have any kind of telecommunication features. No way for it to communicate with other rearview mirrors in order to relay messages from driver to driver. So, my logical conclusion was that this person was talking to the rearview mirror. From the looks of it, the conversation was one sided with the driver being the one side and it was very heated! Maybe the driver was accusing the mirror of allowing me to get so close to that piece of crap car!? Hell, I don’t know.

Eventually, I was able to pass the car. As I did, I used a bit of sign language to tell the driver that she was #1! Well, when I looked in my rearview mirror she was yelling and pointing at her windshield! I don’t know what the windshield said or did but boy was she PISSED!

As the car slowly disappeared from my rearview mirror I began to laugh. Yes, laugh! Why? Well that’s simple. She pissed me off when she pulled out in front of me. She could have been laughing then. BUT, when her own rearview mirror and windshield pissed her off it was great!! Oh yeah, the part when I told her about how I thought she was #1 probably didn’t rub her the right way either! Just goes to show that the old saying is correct. He who laughs last, laughs first!

So lady, this is my final laugh and the first in my offensive towards stupidity. You’re my close encounter of the stupid kind!

PS – If the lady’s rearview mirror and windshield are reading this (hell, I guess you can read since obviously you can do something to piss her off), you don’t have to take the abuse! I’m sure that you can find some numbers to some people that specialize in that kind of abuse. Just Google it!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

My Opinion or am I a Bad Guy? You Decide!

Ok it’s been a long time since I’ve updated. For everyone that has check in periodically, I apologize. I’ve been caught up in this little thing called life. Yes, I know you’re all saying, “He finally got a life!?” It’s true! If I can get a life, I’m sure anyone can.

Seriously, I’ve went through a lot of changes recently. I graduated with an associate’s degree in May and since then I’ve been looking for work! I finally landed a job in the library at the same school from which I graduated. It’s funny how things work out. Who would have thought I would work in a library!!! Anyways, I’m trying to get everything settled down and in a routine. It’s slowly working out for me. I can really say I’m in a good place right now both personally and professionally! Hopefully, I’ll be able to update more often now.

I’ve actually had a lot of things I wanted to blog about: some things that’s been eating at me and some things that people comment to me or email me about. Since it’s almost 1 in the morning, I’ll just talk about one thing that has me fired up right now. This could go on all night so here goes…

Some of you may already know that I have a couple of videos on YouTube.com. They’re called “Baby Bush: Pretending to be in Charge” and “Bush Wars: Episode 1.” Yes, I know that by putting those out there I opened myself to comments and ridicule. I know that and I understand it. But what the idiots do not understand is I’m not attacking Republicans as a whole! Hell, I’m not even attacking Republicans! I’m attacking the big idiot, the one who calls himself President of the United States.

It’s amazing how people cannot grasp that concept. I’ve never been called a “leftist” or “liberal” so many times in my life. Just to set the record straight, I agree with the Democrats on some issues and I agree with the Republicans on some issues. Everyone who has left a comment or sent me a message calling me a Democrat, or any other word used to describe Democrats, has accused me of trying to stab my country in the back. Ok, I’m the bad guy. Let’s see what I did to become a bad guy, shall we?

-Ok, I sent over 100,000 troops to a third world country because the leader of that country said he wanted my father dead. Oh wait, that wasn’t me that was Bush.

-Alright, alright. In order for me to get Congress to approve sending troops to this third world country, I lied and said this country had Weapons of Mass Destruction. Then later found out there were none to be found. Um, no! Again, it wasn't me.

-Let’s see. Oh yeah, I was in so much of a hurry to conquer this country that I sent my troops over there lack luster equipment to protect themselves. Had I given them better equipment, there may be fewer deaths in combat. Oh crap, that’s not on me either.

-There was this one time, when my troops took Baghdad that I said we were doing this for the people of that country. I said they wanted us there because they were being treated unfairly. Then a few weeks later, the same people whom I said wanted us there began attacking my troops. Damnit, still not on me.

-Oh yeah, what about when I started reaching in space for reasons to make my dumb ass idea to invade this country look good? Like when I said that the country was “a haven for terrorist?” Because we all know that every terrorist in the world just has to come from this country (yeah right). Nope, I’m not that stupid.

-This is my personal favorite. What about the time when I started spending billions of dollars into rebuilding this country? Billions that our country didn’t even have. Even though when I came into office the budget was balanced and I just threw all that crap away because who really wants their checkbook balanced when living paycheck to paycheck is much more exciting. Oh wait, that was Bush!

Wow! I did absolutely nothing to become this bad guy who is out to destroy America. Nope, not me! Bush is doing it himself. Oh yeah, correct me if I’m wrong, but did I blame Republicans for any of that? No? Ok, I thought so.

So to all you people who sit at home and have done nothing but fill in the circle beside Republican at every election, you are my close encounter of the stupid kind because it’s people like you who do not see that I’m just voicing my opinion (a right that I fought for 4 years in the Army to protect) and not a political stand. It’s people like you that’s screwed up America. The extreme right and the extreme left have torn this country apart and it will take years if not decades to fix. The extremes on both sides only want to completely disagree with each other because that’s what they think is right. Whatever happened to serving the American people? Whatever happened to making a RIGHT decision no matter what side it came from? Whatever happened to using common sense and not stupidity when making decisions pertaining to the American people?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

One Year Later....Still Kickin'

Well it's been a year since i started the blog. Yeah, sometimes I don't update for a month or so but that's ok. Well for the one year celebration, I started the podcast. So take a listen, leave comments and tell your friends. Here's the link:

http://closeencountersofthestupidkind.podomatic.com/enclosure/2006-08-14T21_51_00-07_00.mp3

I hope that works right.

Here's the podcast site if you wanna take a look at it. I need to work on it so don't judge quite yet!

http://closeencountersofthestupidkind.podomatic.com/


PS- The assholes decided to cut out my intro music!!!!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I-mail a.k.a Idiot Mail

So today I come home from work, sit down at the ol’ computer and see I have 34 emails. I become overwhelmed with a feeling of belonging in the world! I got 34 emails!!! I felt like I was DA MAN!

It seemed like it took FOREVER for Yahoo to log me in! The urgency to see who emailed me was almost more than I could stand! “HURRY UP!” I yelled at the computer as it seemed to take hours to load the page with my inbox listing. FINALLY, my inbox was presented to me and I just could not believe what I saw.

Out of 34 emails, one was from my blog saying Aparna left a comment (Thanks Aparna). Another one was a birthday reminder for someone. The other 32 made me want to go to the senders’ home, cover them with a million paper cuts and then douse them with rubbing alcohol! I don’t know why someone would send such crap through email! It made absolutely no sense!

I’m willing to read a good life lesson story as much as anyone. That’s what the first email was about. The story was great! It went on and on about how God talked to this man and he helped a poor family feed their infant baby! Great story! Then I got to the end of it and it said:

“God loves you! He sent is only son to die for us on the cross. If you do not send this email to 30 people in 5 minutes, you will not get into Heaven. You will be damned in eternity!”

Well, I know I’m not the most religious person in the world nor do I claim to be. But, the last time I read the Bible, I do not recall anything about God monitoring emails. I do not remember the 10 Commandments saying “Thou must sendeth emails in My name or suffer for all of eternity.” Nope, don’t recall that at all. Even in the book of Revelations there’s nothing in there that says “And those who refused to forwardeth Our Father’s emails were sent into Hell for eternity.” Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not in there.

So for everyone who continues to forward that crap, take a step back and ask yourself one question “Does God really have the internet in Heaven?” My guess would be no. If he does, that would be the biggest Wi-Fi hotspot ever!! And besides, how would you go about finding God’s REAL email address if he had one?! It’s hard to get movie star’s real email addresses and they’re mere mortals!!

I know so far in this post I sound like an atheist or something but I’m not. I believe in God and I believe everything in the Bible! I do believe that God knows everything about everything. I just find it hard to believe God would send someone to hell for not sending an email to X number of people in X amount of time. I can’t digest that!

Another type of email that really makes no sense at all are the ones that say “If you do not send this to everyone you know, you will never have sex again! You will have to masturbate to get any sexual pleasure and even that won’t be good! You will never have a girlfriend or boyfriend and you will die miserable and lonely.”

I KNOW for sure that’s not true! I’ve always gotten emails like that and just deleted them. I’ve had relationships and I’ve had sex (not always in that particular order). Even when I masturbate it’s good! I know how I like it and deleting an email won’t make me forget how to do it! So if you believe that type of crap you are obviously not confident in your abilities to please yourself or others!

So this post is dedicated to everyone who believes that God is sending out emails and if you do not forward them you will burn in hell. This goes out to everyone who is so afraid of not having sex or a relationship because they deleted an email. This is for everyone who really believes Bill Gates is gonna give everyone who forwards a certain email $10 for everyone they send it to! Everyone who thinks that a hospital will get 10 cents for every person an email is sent to, to help pay for the surgery that will give a baby a chance at life! You’re ignorant and stupid if you believe that crap and if you constantly send your idiot mail (i-mail for short)! You should be poked with a sharp pointed stick as you cower in a dark corner! One more thing you should be, my close encounter of the stupid kind! OH! WAIT! You are!